As a single parent, I find dating in today’s face-paced world to be at most, quite humorous. I mean how does one go about dating without prospecting the other person, long term? For instance, I’m out with a man, first date. He’s looking to have some lovely lady’s (that would be me!) company for a moment in time, and I’m trying to figure out if he will actually fit into my ideal family unit.  Upon first glance, my mind is madly scribbling notes like an internal reporter, questioning his social DNA: is he intelligent enough for my impressionable son? Check.  Is he a patient, family man? Check.  Energetic, sincere, fun-loving, and protective? What are his finances like? Can he handle a family situation?  Thoughts and ideas that go far beyond the scope of a  first date. But, the overarching goal when dating as a single parent (esp. with a child of the opposite sex) is not always, merely for companionship to satisfy my own needs, but consequently, those of my son as well.

      You might say that early on while dating, these should not be my concerns, it’s just way too soon.  However, if you’re anything like me, you can hardly think of anything besides what is or is not beneficial to and for the life of your child.  So dating becomes this intensive probing job that mentally wears me out, rather than a relaxing night to enjoy with another adult,  without the presence of my child.

       One of the reasons the “reporting” takes place is because for some, sooner or later, it would just become economically beneficial to all parties involved to have dinner and a movie at the house.  No babysitter’s fees, restaurant costs, gas, etc. etc. After a few dates, wouldn’t it just be easier to invite “him” over for dinner and a movie? Well sure, but now, the court reporter questions come back into play and the big one: should I allow my child to meet him?

      This is where I get a little tangled.  If I allow my son to meet the guy, that might be okay – but what if all goes awry and the relationship ends? How’s does your child react to that? And even if your child is not traumatized with that, how many more instances of potential men does your child get to meet before you find “the one?”  This is where that tiny element of humor begins, only it’s not really a laughing matter.

A single-parent atmosphere is not readily conducive to the dating scene..  what do you think?

Chana Maxwell

On last week I introduced myself and titled the post “Communicating in Marriage,” but after speaking with other women I decided to broaden the topic some; because we as women need to talk about marriage,love and relationships.  We need to be frank, share our opinions, prayers and experiences.  Women with more experience and more mature (sounds better than older) need to help our younger sisters.  I’m not saying you have to tell all your business in your marriage, love life (if you have one), but so many women just don’t tell it like it is or we pretend like what the other woman did for love, because of love or to get love was cool.  It’s time OUT, we must help each other.

Guest Blogger

I don’t want to go on and on with my personal thoughts on love, marriage and relationships (although they are many), yet I want to open the door for others to share their experiences and guest blogg with me.  So, Marsha Dudley, will share in whatever way she chooses on one, or all three topics in the morning.  I will see you there.