Letting Go

June 14, 2010

     I’m so grateful to my guest blogger Chana Maxwell(thekingdomseeker.blogspot.com) for her post last week about dating and children.  When it comes to children and having a relationship things can get a little tricky.  It’s not easy lookin for love, dating and being a parent all at the same time, yet we are told to balance it out.  So, I thought that was a great topic regarding relationships.

     I’d like to talk about another relationship this week and it still involves our children.  What I’m thinking about it is a recent situation that caused me to think about how many other people may be facing this same dilemma.  Let’s just say a friend in order to protect the innocent here.  This friend has a daughter who has recently turned 13 and he as her father got into a pretty ugly situation with his daughter, nothing sick!

     Before the daughter goes to school this particular morning her dad ask her had she completed a project that was due for school? She ignores the question and tells her father she’s getting ready for school and could he leave her room.  So, he asks her again and she tells him she did it, of course her answer comes with GREAT attitude!  Well, of course the father did not react too well and he lets his daughter have it about her attitude.  She begins to cry hysterically and runs out to catch the bus for school.  Leaving the father to wonder what…just happened.

     The father tells the mother what happened and she tries to talk with the daughter and gets the same treatment and tears.  The mother believes the daughter hasn’t done the project and calls the teacher.  Her daughter did do the project and turned it in on time.  So, what was the big deal the mother and father think, why didn’t she just say that?  What was with th crying and running out of the house. 

     Earlier in the week the mother found the daughter in her room crying about her breast not being big enough and how she hated that her menstrual cycle had not started like her other friends.   On and on this behavior of crying and shutting the parents out goes with their daughter.  They try to ground her, talk with her, bribe her, whatever they can think of, but mostly they just don’t understand the behavior.

     We get a call from the father because he feels like he just can’t deal with his daughter and her theatrics any more and is at his wits end.  My husband and I decide to go over to our friends and speak with him and his wife directly because he sounded so stressed on the phone.  Once we get inside and begin to listen to the frustrations and dis-belief that these two parents are having my husband and I say with a slight laugh, “welcome to the world of being teenage parents.”  The mother and father look at one another as if someone had forgotten to tell them this.

     Look everybody we don’t get a handbook with this parenting stuff, so we have to wing it sometimes and other times we just have to reach out and ask for help.  We’ve raised three teenagers and have one budding, so we understand the frustration.  We just told our friends to let go some and not get themselves all worked up into a tissy.  Things may get worse before they get better, but it’s a ride that most parents of teenagers have been on and you can’t get off, so relax and just coast along with the turns and curves. If you want to talk further post your questions and if it’s not something you want everyone to see, feel free to email me at jeweld2009@hotmail and we will discuss it further.  As always thanks for your reading and comments.

Peace and Blessings

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2 Responses to “Letting Go”

  1. Chana - Guest Blogger Says:

    Great post and very important! Teenagers have a whole set of different pressures and issues they face in high school, and it takes a special kind of patience and communication to help them through what seems to be not only the toughest time for parents, but the teens themselves.

    I have a brand new middle schooler, so this topic is of particular interest to me. Even though he’s only 11, I’ve begun to see some pretty big changes in him the last few months or so, and for a minute I didn’t know what to make of it. So thanks for posting this!

    • jeweld Says:

      I’m so glad that this helped you with your budding teen. As I said things may get a little rocky before the landscape smooths out, but rest assured it does get better. And really what happens if we allow it, we as the parents get more comfortable and adjust. Remember, your not the only one and this too will pass!!

      Jewel D.

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