Single-Parenting on the Dating Scene – Guest Blogger

June 2, 2010

 

      As a single parent, I find dating in today’s face-paced world to be at most, quite humorous. I mean how does one go about dating without prospecting the other person, long term? For instance, I’m out with a man, first date. He’s looking to have some lovely lady’s (that would be me!) company for a moment in time, and I’m trying to figure out if he will actually fit into my ideal family unit.  Upon first glance, my mind is madly scribbling notes like an internal reporter, questioning his social DNA: is he intelligent enough for my impressionable son? Check.  Is he a patient, family man? Check.  Energetic, sincere, fun-loving, and protective? What are his finances like? Can he handle a family situation?  Thoughts and ideas that go far beyond the scope of a  first date. But, the overarching goal when dating as a single parent (esp. with a child of the opposite sex) is not always, merely for companionship to satisfy my own needs, but consequently, those of my son as well.

      You might say that early on while dating, these should not be my concerns, it’s just way too soon.  However, if you’re anything like me, you can hardly think of anything besides what is or is not beneficial to and for the life of your child.  So dating becomes this intensive probing job that mentally wears me out, rather than a relaxing night to enjoy with another adult,  without the presence of my child.

       One of the reasons the “reporting” takes place is because for some, sooner or later, it would just become economically beneficial to all parties involved to have dinner and a movie at the house.  No babysitter’s fees, restaurant costs, gas, etc. etc. After a few dates, wouldn’t it just be easier to invite “him” over for dinner and a movie? Well sure, but now, the court reporter questions come back into play and the big one: should I allow my child to meet him?

      This is where I get a little tangled.  If I allow my son to meet the guy, that might be okay – but what if all goes awry and the relationship ends? How’s does your child react to that? And even if your child is not traumatized with that, how many more instances of potential men does your child get to meet before you find “the one?”  This is where that tiny element of humor begins, only it’s not really a laughing matter.

A single-parent atmosphere is not readily conducive to the dating scene..  what do you think?

Chana Maxwell

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3 Responses to “Single-Parenting on the Dating Scene – Guest Blogger”

  1. rdaniels42 Says:

    I love that you understand how precious you and your son both are.you rigth for doing all thinking that you are doing on the first date most men are looking for a fun evening and all kind of role playing on that first date. you are sharp you what to and what not to do your mind will lead you right


  2. that is indeed the dilema….you want to sheild your family…but you know that in order for this to work…they must be a part of the decision…

    being a single parent is no joke…but you hve to smile about it….love th post…

    Hope

  3. Chana - Guest Blogger Says:

    Thank you both for responding! Your thoughts are welcomed and appreciated. I enjoyed guest-posting on this topic because, it is certainly something to consider. I would love to hear more feedback especially for those of you who are experiencing similar situations.

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